1. Look at this.
LOOK AT IT!
THERE’S NOTHING ON IT.
2. This is just plain wrong.
4. What’s this going to taste like? Wet cardboard? Macklemore’s pubes?
5. It hurts to look at.
6. Why would you treat something that way?
10. I can almost guarantee you the person who made this says “golly gee willikers!” and “heebie-jeebies” 17 times a day:
11. This is a damn crime.
12. This chicken looks like it could guest on a Mumford and Sons album:
13. It doesn’t have to be this way.
14. IT DOESN’T!
15. What’s the surprise here? Endless disappointment? Food poisoning?
16. Make it stop.
17. MAKE IT STOP.
No one would. No one.
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