We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their advice for a more adventurous sex life. Here are some of their suggestions…
1. Put your cards on the table.
“Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like or what you would like to try sexually. Perhaps they will accept, perhaps they won’t, but at least it’s on the table.”
2. Communication is key.
“Discussions with your partner are key, but before you start talking with them about what you want, take some time with yourself to figure out what YOU want. Read a bunch of stuff on the internet and see if any of it sparks an interest. If it does, research it in more depth. If it’s something particularly kinky that interests you, look for groups online to discuss things with because chances are they’ll have a few pro-tips.”
– Kendra Custen, Facebook
3. Do your research.
“Always talk with your partner before trying something. Do your research and preparation and come up with safety words if necessary. Stop when it’s no longer fun for either of you. Watch and read lots about the sexual fantasy and understand that it may not quite play out the same way IRL.”
– Nita Chavez, Facebook
4. Watch more porn.
“Porn isn’t the way to learn everything, but you can pick up a couple of ideas. You don’t know what you like until you’ve tried it!”
– Liam Tipler, Facebook
5. Know your limits and speak up.
“Dont be afraid to try something different. Talk to each other about what you are both willing to try out. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner if it’s going too far past your comfort zone.”
– Sherri Thomas, Facebook
6. Get creative.
“My partner and I ad-lib role-play scenarios all the time. My advice is to really vary things. Have some sessions where you don’t talk at all, others with as much dirty talk as possible. But always be open about what is working for you and what isn’t and be willing to try things with an open mind.”
7. Turn the tables.
“Don’t be afraid to try something completely different. In my relationship, I’m generally the more submissive one and I often let my boyfriend have his way with me. Just recently I had the urge to take control of him after many months of being too scared. I went for it and I absolutely loved it. He did too. Now it’s opened up even more avenues of sexual adventure.”
– Slumbering Demon
8. Have good oral hygiene.
“When going down on someone, pop an extra strong mint into your mouth.”
– Submitted by josiejosie1981
(Popping a mint in your mouth or brushing your teeth with peppermint toothpaste before oral sex can give a heightened sensation but it should also be advised that this can cause a burning sensation if you use too much or are particularly sensitive.)
9. Three doesn’t have to be a crowd.
“My boyfriend and I are both straight, but we decided it would be fun to have a threesome. It ended up happening one night with a random girl after a night of drinking, and we both had so much fun we want to do it again. I think it’s actually made our relationship stronger because we discussed it beforehand and now we’re very open about what we want when it comes to sex. I recommend it for any couple as long as there’s trust and you use protection.”
10. A sext a day keeps the boredom at bay.
“My partner and I sext constantly. It’s great because I can be having a really crappy day and I’ll just send him a text and we’re off! A couple of times we’ve become so frenzied in our sexting that we’ve met up and re-enacted what we’ve been texting about. I like it because it’s spontaneous and if we’ve not seen each other for a while, it makes us feel slightly more connected.”
11. Have your own toy box.
“We introduced toys to the bedroom which is really fun. We got some vibrators and handcuffs. Even a vibrator that is remote controlled so you can wear it out discretely and it can be controlled by your partner. I took it upon myself to introduce lingerie to the bedroom too. It makes him so excited whenever I put it on, and it really makes me feel even sexier.”
12. Don’t wash your mouth out.
“Dirty talk. It might feel silly at first but it doesn’t have to be porn dialogue. Tell your partner that you’re enjoying it, tell them how you like it, tell them what you want to do to them. It’s super sexy and has the added bonus of giving you the confidence to ask for exactly what you want in bed.”
13. Vanilla with sprinkles.
“I’m a fan of what I affectionately call ‘vanilla with sprinkles’. Mix it up a bit with position changes, a little light restraint, spanking or biting. Nothing too heavy, but enough to add something extra-sexy to the mix.”
14. Complete a sexionnaire.
“Talk about what you like and want to try. If you’re not sure where to start then try sending your partner the link to sexionnaire.com. That way you know what you are both open to trying and can work from there.”
15. There’s an app for that.
“My boyfriend and I got the Sex and Mindfulness app, which is a kind of a meditation app. The lesson five exercise is the BEST. It gets both of us all lathered up and ready to go. It really worked well for us and made us both a little more in tune with each other.”
16. There’s a whole library of inspiration.
“Try reading erotic stories as they can be fun too. There are all kinds of categories, including fetishes and different scenarios. Just have fun and don’t be uptight.”
17. Build trust in each other.
“Just don’t be afraid. All the sort of fetishes are out there because it’s a thing people enjoy. Don’t be afraid to try anything new. If you can have the confidence to ask your partner about it then have the confidence to try it. If it doesn’t work then try something else. It took me ages to open up to my partner about things I wanted to try and it’s great as it can help build your trust in each other.”
Note: Submissions may have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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