Stephanie A (Australia): A bunch of medieval families fighting to get control of the land, I guess. But with incest, dragons, and lots of rape and murder.
Jim (UK): It’s an epic quest to avoid spoilers from your colleagues in which a medieval king has their head chopped off.
Nirali (India): Incest and people dying and dragons and stuff.
Alex K (US): It’s essentially the same thing as Lord of the Rings, but with a bunch of episodes and worse characters.
Augusta (US): A lot of impossibly beautiful women, some dragons, and I think some thrones? Oh, also, everyone dies.
Adam (US): People kill each other and show their butts a lot.
Anna K (US): It’s about a family who lives in a place in the future where there’s a lot of snow, I think? And they all wear a lot of fur and have sex with each other, even though a lot of them are related. And any time there’s a wedding, someone dies. Or there’s a fight and a lot of blood.
Elena (US): It’s a live-action version of Dungeons & Dragons.
2. What does “winter is coming” mean?
Jemima (Australia): It is nearing the end of autumn?
Tania (Australia): Something with Jon Snow? I saw a meme.
Maggy (UK): You’re not supposed to know, I think. That’s why people keep saying: “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” He keeps guessing when winter is about to arrive but he keeps getting it wrong. Poor Jon.
Alex A (US): Bad things will happen, like maybe the crow from the billboards will come and eat people.
Adam (US): Elsa the ice princess is coming. Whatever that white blonde woman is. The townsfolk are either preparing for battle or scrubbing the castle for her arrival, unsure.
Anna K (US): I might be overthinking it, but is that someone’s name? Or do they literally mean the seasons are changing?
Michael (US): “Winter is coming” means that the Frost King is about to masturbate and spew his seed all over the town of Westeros.
Stephanie A (Australia): The Starks, the Lannisters, and the Snows? The Starks are, like, that guy who’s dead now, and Sansa and Arya, who I guess are his daughters (sad for them: RIP Papa Stark). Arya’s a little badass, and people think Sansa is weak but my friend Alison says she’s not and I trust her. The Lannisters fuck each other. Jon Snow is dead now and he was a dum-dum.
Maggy (UK): The Woodchips – they’re, like, the working-class family, known for their alcoholism and swearing. The Kanyewesteros – they’re fame-hungry but talented and good at seducing people. The Boobmagalooms – they’re these boob-shaped monsters who destroy everyone in their path.
Chris (UK): Er, Lannister and…Slytherin? Ravenclaw?
Nirali (India): The Lannisters – I think they’re the main family. Are they royal? I think so. The Snows – they know nothing. The Khaleesis – they are heavily featured on Tumblr and Instagram usernames.
Nina (US): There is Fur Man’s family and they are very into fur. There is Peter Dinklage’s family and he runs this shit. There is Natalie Dormer’s family and they all have her side-smirk, which other people are offended by.
Julia (US): The Montagues. The Capulets. The Kardashians.
Rachel (US): Literally what?
Adam (US): I didn’t even know there were families. Goddammit, this is some Harry Potter business.
4. Who is currently the ruler of Westeros?
Stephanie A (Australia): IDK, the Dragon Lady?
Caitlin (Australia): Is it Peter Dinklage? It should be Peter Dinklage.
Jemima (Australia): Oh, that blonde kid who everyone hates, right?
Rachel (US): Khaleesi??
Anna K (US): THERE’S A RULER, of course. Honestly, I have no idea. Danerys Targarten (sp)?
Adam (US): IT CHANGES?!
Michelle (US): Some blonde kid. He’s like, 15 if I had to guess.
Stephanie L (US): Jon Snow? That’s a name I hear a lot.
5. Who is this guy?
Stephanie A (Australia): He’s a Stark. He’s dead now.
Jemima (Australia): That’s Ralph. He was out walking and a wolf saw his coat, thinking it was his mother. The wolf imprinted on him and now they’re BFFs.
Paul (UK): Ned? He’s in charge of a family maybe. His beard/pelt combo suggests knowledge.
Nirali (India): He’s the star of the famous “winter is coming” meme on the interwebs.
Jina (US): He’s a secondary character in Lord of the Rings and he wandered off set.
Alex A (US): This is Sean Bean and he dies in everything. So I’m going to assume he died in this too.
Augusta (US): This guy looks like he needs a nap and a shower. Was he killed? Is that what happened? He looks pretty worried.
Anna K (US): Jon Snow? Did he die this week? THANK YOU, TWITTER, IF I’M CORRECT.
6. What do you know about this guy?
Anna M (Australia): Jon Snow! That’s him, right? Memes say he knows nothing but I dunno why. So I guess I’m also Jon Snow.
Caitlin (Australia): HE’S HOT, I WANT HIM.
Jemima (Australia): SPOILERS I think he’s dead.
Jim (UK): Half wolf, half man.
Julia (US): He makes me feel all tingly inside.
Jina (US): He’s recently been in a fight – those little knicks on his face are a fresh red – and he is a heartthrob of some kind, which I know from his hair, the troubled I-need-a-pixie-to-fix-me look on his face, and, you know, his soul.
Stephanie L (US): I can only assume this is Jon Snow, because there is snow in the background.
Augusta (US): I think he died only because everyone was freaking out about it on Facebook. He seems like a cool guy. It’s a shame.
Michael (US): He looks soooo sad. But I’m pretty sure his name is Bruno.
7. Who are these people and what are their current fates?
Caitlin (Australia): I know the little girl, she’s Arya, she’s sassy so she will live. The rest probably aren’t important. They’ll probably die.
Jemima (Australia): They’re vampires and they’re about to get a wooden stake through their hearts. Look how pale they are. Definite vampires.
Paul (UK): It’s likely that they were well-liked and now dead. That’s the deal, right?
Chris (UK): They look like they should be in a museum for immaculate cheekbones. Just look at them. Cor.
Jina (US): All of them are dead, for the tragedy, except for the girl, who’s too pretty to kill.
Adam (US): They stumbled through the wardrobe and have come out the other side to rule Narnia. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. Tell me this isn’t them.
Monique (US): From left to right: dead, dead, dead, survives but is slaughtered right before the credits roll. Dudes in the background no longer have to protect them and can go get pizza. Or whatever it is they eat.
Stephanie L (US): It’s clear from the lighting that they are the bad guys.
8. What is this character’s journey?
Stephanie A (Australia): Dragon Lady. I think she’s a Lannister because her hair looks like Cersei’s???? Got a bunch of dragons, slays a bit? Also, she rolled in the mud at some point.
Jemima (Australia): She looks like a chimney sweep, tbh. Though I love that dragon. Is that real or an accessory?
Paul (UK): That’s Astrid from How to Train Your Dragon. Bit muddier than I remember it though.
Jim (UK): “Unfortunately born with a dragon on her ear, Samantha has recently come to terms with her predicament to lead a rich and fulfilling life.”
Nirali (India): She is the mother of dragons. Now, I only know this through memes, so I’m not sure if she actually birthed them or if she’s like, a pet mommy.
Rachel (US): Probably getting raped… Isn’t that kind of a “thing” for the female characters on GOT?
Adam (US): She’s on a quest to get her money back for what was supposed to be a butterfly clip.
Michelle (US): This character has a lot of names: Khalessi and something with a D. She’s tight with the dragons. She trains them and raises them as her own kin. But dragons aren’t meant to be tamed, so I imagine they eventually turn on her and eat her alive. Everyone saw it coming.
Kelcie (US): That demon dragon tells her what to do and runs her life.
9. How do people feel about this guy?
Stephanie A (Australia): Oh, everyone hates him because he’s the fucking worst. But I think he’s dead now. But they still hate him coz that’s how bad he was. Fuck Joffrey. #KillingIt
Tania (Australia): Little shithead. Look at his mug!
Jemima (Australia): Oh one time my dad called him a cunt and that’s the first time I’ve ever heard him swear. So I guess he’s a baddie?
Jim (UK): They should feel uncomfortable because he looks like a shifty bugger.
Chris (UK): He’s the hero, isn’t he? Everyone loves him.
Nirali (India): I hate his stupid little face because the internet told me to.
Alex K (US): They’re sad because he was probably killed in an episode two weeks ago.
Rachel (US): He looks like a real punk. I would guess he’s the Draco Malfoy of GOT.
Michael (US): He looks like Caligula and that’s a bit unsettling because Caligula was INSANE.
10. How do people feel about this guy?
Stephanie A (Australia): IDK who that is but he looks sad. I’d feel sorry for him but chances are he’s probably a murderer or a rapist. Or both.
Maggy (UK): I think this guy has a wise forehead.
Chris (UK): He looks like some medieval version of House.
Julia (US): He seems nice and fatherly.
Jina (US): Sad, because he is also sad, and you only get back in this world what you give off.
Adam (US): They feel sorry for him? He looks sad. Or am I misreading his evil?
Michelle (US): Don’t know, I’m gonna go with they hate him. He’s too old school for them.
Anna K (US): He looks nice… Maybe he’s a great guy and steals the ladies and everyone is jealous.
11. What’s the relationship between these two? What was he talking about when he said “the things I do for love”?
Paul (UK): I feel like they would do things on screen which make viewing the show in a family environment awkward.
Nirali (India): THIS IS THE INCEST THING, RIGHT?? Does he do his sister for love? Ew.
Michael (US): I think these two are siblings? I think he was asking her why their mother hated him so much growing up.
Candace (US): IS THIS THE COUPLE THAT IS RELATED THAT HAS SEX? Like, if my brother looked like that…
Jina (US): Someone is cheating on someone here. Maybe the thing he does for love is stay with a cheater, or maybe the thing he does for love is cheat. I can’t tell because they both look unhappy.
Augusta (US): These two got together in the bathroom at someone’s wedding and now he’s really into it, but she’s like, “Nah, bruh, I got a dime piece waiting for me back home.” Re: “the things I do for love”, he’s probably saying that he paid a lot for his fake tan.
Alex A (US): This one I know: They’re a brother and sister who boop and the velvet-swathed kid everyone hates is their son.
Hillary (US): He killed some monsters and had to leave her to defend THE ENTIRE VILLAGE so he could keep this beachy-waved babe and their kids safe. So classic.
12. What’s the relationship between these two?
Stephanie A (Australia): That’s Tyrion? And his old mate?? They experienced a very average dinner together and they’re both unhappy with the service. They asked for their dinner menus 20 minutes ago and no one’s come to serve them yet.
Tania (Australia): I think that they are either related or lovers, and they have just had a fight.
Anna K (US): They look like soldiers. Maybe they were at the red wedding.
James (US): Father and son who have had sex with the same people?
Michelle (US): This is bromance at its finest. I don’t think either of them rule, but they’re well-respected. Like, the king’s go-to guys for advice.
Hillary (US): Peter Dinklage is that guy’s assistant. They’ve been through EVERYTHING together – lots of fighting, sex scandals, leaked info, intruders in the castle etc.
Candace (US): From the looks of it there’s some sexual tension going on between the two. They’ve experienced life together.
Jina (US): They’re probably friends. The guy on the right is also more famous than any other face I have seen so far. If I had to paparazzi someone from this show, it would be him, because I know who he is.
13. What’s the deal with these two?
Stephanie A (Australia): The one on the right is Littlefinger and he has a boat, so when he kissed Sansa last season Tumblr was like “our ship has set sail!” and that was very clever, tbh. He’s misunderstood, apparently. IDK about baldie tho.
Tania (Australia): They look shifty. I don’t trust these guys!
Maggy (UK): Baldie just dropped a massive fart and they’re dealing with the consequences.
Paul (UK): Baldie and beardy! Comedy duo. Not very good, but you can’t be too picky.
Augusta (US): They look way too clean to be on this show. Something’s up.
Nina (US): Some Guy and Ed Norton Lookalike are very uncomfortable with what’s happening around them. Also looks like Ed Norton Lookalike is wearing a cross, so maybe they’re members of a some kind of church and very put off by the blonde girl’s relationship with a dragon, because it’s ungodly.
Jina (US): They are totally in the wrong TV show.
Candace (US): They look pretty sassy, like they would design the highest fashions at Westeros. They live in what would be considered the upper east side of Westeros in a classically designed loft.
Hillary (US): Corrupt religious leaders who bang on the DL.
14. Who or what are the Hound and the Mountain?
Tania (Australia): Sounds like a hipster band.
Jemima (Australia): A huge giant named Mountain who is a kind and misunderstood soul. His dog, Hound, is a chihuahua, and they look really stupid together.
Maggy (UK): “The Hound and the Mountain” is a folk song that Bruno Mars is going to cover one day.
Paul (UK): Local pub.
Adam (US): That seems like an anecdote? Maybe it’s referenced in the show a lot?
Augusta (US): The sequel to The Fox and the Hound. (It got weird.)
Candace (US): Some pre-motorcycle gang where men ride wolf-dino hybrids and do magical stuff in the mountains.
Elena (US): Well, one’s a dog and one is part of the land. Basic vocabulary, guys.
Alex A (US): Two sex positions that are challenging, yet invigorating.
15. What is the Red Wedding?
Anna M (Australia): A bloodbath.
Maggy (UK): It’s when you get your period on your wedding day and it leaks on to your white gown.
Michael (US): YOU MUSTN’T SPEAK OF THE RED WEDDING. IT IS FORBIDDEN.
Anna K (US): I don’t know the details, but people die. A lot of people. “Don’t get married in Westeros” is something I hear a lot from the fans.
James (US): Something I won’t attend.
Alex A (US): A special time in a young girl’s life.
Kelcie (US): Did a bunch of people die at what should have been a joyous ceremony? Don’t people always die in this show?
Monique (US): A wedding where the enemies march in and slaughter everyone in the church, then drag the bride out through puddles of blood, thus turning her dress red. (I don’t have psychotic issues. I just hear it’s a violent show.)
16. What is happening here?
Tania (Australia): New Year’s Eve.
Jemima (Australia): That’s a lot of Avada Kedavra at once.
Chris (UK): Michael Bay guest-directed an episode?
Rachel (US): The Green Baptism.
Adam (US): Ummm this is some sort of magic explosion in a battle?
James (US): IDK. Dragon farts?
Michelle (US): I can’t tell if this is a celebration or one of those funerals where they put the body on the boat and watch as it explodes. The green is really throwing me off.
Alex A (US): Maleficent fighting Prince Phillip.
Kelcie (US): More people dying.
17. What is happening here?
Stephanie A (Australia): The repurposing of old Buffy demon masks?
Jemima (Australia): The Ice Lord is summoning up all his little ice men to come and defeat the Fire Lord.
Paul (UK): Average day in Scotland tbh.
Candace (US): Voldemort’s brother showed up to the party and announced winter was coming for the thousandth effing time.
Jina (US): Victory. Triumph. And probably some form of armageddon.
Julia (US): Didn’t moisturise.
Michelle (US): This guy has come back from the dead with his army of zombies to try and avenge his people.
Anna K (US): This dude looks evil, for sure. He’s a dictator and has come to scare the humans of Westeros.
Rachel (US): “Come at me, bro.”
18. What’s going on here?
Tania (Australia): This confirms why I don’t watch GOT.
Anna M (Australia): Isn’t this guy from Harry Potter?
Chris (UK): What is this I don’t even…
Paul (UK): FILTH IS WHAT’S GOING ON HERE.
Nirali (India): This guy is into scat porn, as far as I can tell.
Alex A (US): Sam and Frodo had a baby and he’s starring in a raunchy teen comedy.
Elena (US): I don’t know, and I don’t think I want to.
19. What’s happening here?
Tania (Australia): This is a zombie…
Jemima (Australia): I literally have zero clue. What the fuck is this show?
Maggy (UK): This is what happens when you give birth after eating a mean curry.
Rachel (US): WHAT NO STOP.
Hillary (US): Nothing good.
Alex A (US): Second base.
Michelle (US): Looks like a demon crawling out of a woman’s vagine. Which can’t be good.
Elena (US): I have no idea, but I can’t stop watching it and it’s making me very frightened. That thing is definitely going to be the new reason why I don’t let my foot hang over the bed at night.
Stephanie L (US): Oh god, this is why I can’t watch this show.
20. Any final thoughts?
Jemima (Australia): People should stop telling me to watch it, thanks.
Anna M (Australia): Stop killing people. Such a waste of good actors.
Jim (UK): I’ve got to watch HOW MANY HOURS if I want to catch up with everyone else?
Michael (US): I kind of want to watch this show.
Alex A (US): This show seems crazy.
Nina (US): I actually have a question: Why is this show so white? Isn’t this shit all made up anyways?
Candace (US): What happens when winter leaves?
Jemima (Australia): Bless you?
Caitlin (Australia): Hodor.
Jim (UK): Hodor.
Chris (UK): Hodor.
Paul (UK): Hodor hodor.
Nirali (India): Hodor.
Hillary (US): OK?
Adam (US): Holy crap, is Hodor a person? Because if it is I literally didn’t know that until this quiz.
Augusta (US): Maybe later.
Rachel (US): Hodor? I barely knew her!
Candace (US): Hodor.
Julia (US): Hodor.
Stephanie L (US): Hodor Hodor Hodor.
Anna K (US): HODOR.
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