1. Take a Sharpie to a plain white tee and you get a 404 Error.
Nonchalant attitude must be learned, however.
2. Affix clothing and dryer sheets to yourself to personify static cling.
Or my floor after picking up the laundry, amiright?
3. A plaid shirt and rugged stubble can help you identify as a Brawny man.
Or woman. Or dog.
4. Buddy up with a thinner doppelganger and go as a before-and-after weight loss ad.
Good luck finding your facial twin. And if not, “BEFORE” and “AFTER” sign necklaces will do the trick.
5. Already own a loud printed ’80s sweater? Instant Bill Cosby!
You can add Jell-O pudding packets for added effect. (h/t: Reddit)
6. Ping-Pong balls and a baggy sweater can instantly transform your child into a hideous* monster.
7. A light blue placard against a navy background makes a Photoshop costume for the lazy.
Make a lasso tool out of painted wire.
8. Stick black dots on a red outfit and you, my friend, are now a ladybug.
9. Add a fanny pack to literally any outfit you already have and you’re instantly a tourist.
Like, even a fanny pack over a cat costume would still primarily read tourist.
10. Show of your dual appreciation for wordplay and slapstick with this pun.
11. All it takes to be bouncers are black suits, sunglasses, and a rope running between you.
Stand in front of the party and refuse entry to your enemies.
12. Another great play on words: ceiling fan.
Add pom-poms if you happen to have them lying around.
13. Don a fake ponytail and wear an unbuttoned flannel shirt — you’re Billy Ray Cyrus (which is so much more subversive than Miley).
If you’re a girl with long hair, wear your hair in a half-ponytail and you can be Slutty Billy Ray Cyrus. #hotdads
14. Channel Jane Goodall in head-to-toe khaki and a stuffed chimpanzee.
And a banana couldn’t hurt and could help stave away midnight inebriation cravings.
15. Wednesday Addams made easy with a black button-down tucked into a black skirt. Add braids and make use of your bitchy resting face.
BRF: It’s an accessory.
16. Don an oversize suit jacket and menswear-inspired pants for a look worthy of Elaine Benes.
Add a ton of mousse and work on your signature dance moves.
17. Take your basic cat costume one step further with a nod to a musical legend.
According to dads everywhere.
18. Let everyone know you’d rather be at home with a “night in” costume.
Just wear whatever you binge-watch Scandal in.
19. You don’t need a hazmat suit to be Walter White.
Button-down, tighty-whities, and glasses. Maybe forego the gun, though.
20. An extra-large shirt and a frenemy make a costume moms everywhere will love.
You’ll be BFFs by the end of the night. Or have killed each other, either way.
21. A little construction paper and elementary drawing skills go a long way in an Operation costume.
Just be careful with the placement of the femur.
22. Household products and numbered sweaters make an easy Supermarket Sweep costume.
Bonus: Fill your Gain bottle with liquor for a makeshift flask!
23. A black top, white bottoms, backward cap, bandana, and a bouquet make you a Banksy piece.
And gives you an excuse to treat yourself to fresh flora.
24. Put that vintage leather jacket you’re too nervous to wear to good use and release your inner Fonz.
You’ll have a good excuse for being lecherous and scamming on chicks all night.
25. Wear a nondescript outfit and carry a puppet. You’re a puppeteer now.
Caution: People might expect you to voice a puppet all night.
26. All you need is a sign to be an out-of-work nudist.
A perfect excuse to wear a hoodie!
27. A Snuggie and a football helmet turns you into Fantasy Football.
Bonus: Be sure to include something to wield.
28. A tank top with boob-circle cutouts turns you into Regina George.
Enlist friends to copy your look and pose as your “Army of Skanks.”
29. Become a human stick figure with a monochromatic outfit and a contrasting tape color.
Make a mask from poster board and string.
30. If you really have nothing to wear, strip (nearly) bare and go as an underwear model.
Six-pack abs optional.
31. And if all else fails, just go as the timeless Halloween classic: sexy sheet ghost.
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