1. First time you eat really messy food in front of each other.
Slimy gunk drips down your chin, your fingers get covered in guacamole – eating disgustingly messy food with your S.O. is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
2. First time you burp in front of each other.
After a while this will become quite competitive and a lot of fun.
3. First time you go for a poo at their house.
You pour cleaning product down the loo afterwards, open a window and wave the hand towel around, and if possible spray something floral to disguise the smell.
4. First time you do something gross during sex.
The milestone after that is using the same T-shirt MORE THAN ONCE. Smh.
5. First time you fart in front of each other.
A couple that farts together stays together.
6. First time you give them the lowdown on your latest trip to the toilet.
It’s important to rejoice in each other’s successes and help each other through tough times, especially in the bathroom.
7. First time you clean up their sick.
If you’re not in love with them, you’re probably going to realise now.
8. First time you see each other on the toilet.
Chatting about nothing while one of you is weeing is truly liberating.
9. The first time you squeeze their zit (bonus points if it’s in a ~hard to reach~ place).
Sorting out a really big one is an expression of great intimacy and love.
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