1. Don’t wear makeup that looks like you are actually wearing makeup. Men think they don’t like makeup but they actually do — go for a super-natural look.
2. Never get too emotional about anything.
Your emotions could potentially freak him out.
3. Watch all sports. Don’t forget to yell at the screen and throw beers. He’ll find your passion super sexy.
Bonus points: Show how super casual and fun you are by sticking your hands down your pants and scratching your vulva while watching the game.
4. Drink whiskey on the rocks. Then take it one step further by soaking your tampon in Macallan 30 before inserting it.
Pro tip: Keep Monistat on hand for when you get a raging yeast infection from doing this (totally worth it).
5. Be able to quote. every. single. word. from The Big Lebowski. But don’t stop there, also make puppets of the characters and perform a show of it every night before bed.
Nothing is sexier than a woman who knows all the words to every guy’s favorite movie when from they were in middle school.
6. Play sports…naked. Playing sports will confuse him because you’re a girl, so being naked will remind him that you’re still feminine because your breasts will be out.
7. Wrestle with his giant dog. It doesn’t matter if you were bit by a dog when you were little and now have an intense fear of dogs — get on the ground and roll around with that Doberman.
It shows dominance, which is hot.
8. Have a non-intimidating job, like owner of a cotton candy cart that serves only teeny-tiny cotton candies to mice.
You don’t want him to feel threatened by you.
9. Don’t turn him on by just ordering a burger — bring a live cow to the restaurant and slaughter it at the table.
WARNING: DO NOT ORDER SALAD (even if you are a vegetarian, nothing turns a guy off more than a woman who cares about her health).
10. Most important, be able to “hang with the guys.” You may have heard this expression before, and thought it means to hang out. What it really means is to literally HANG with the guys. Wear a strap-on so you can swing your dick around like them.
Swing low and wide.
Cortesía de: BuzzFeedFollow @DifusionLibre1