I Fixed Katy Perry’s Tweet That No One Could Understand

1. Did anyone at all understand what the hell this tweet means? Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one ...
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1. Did anyone at all understand what the hell this tweet means?

Without an @, this tweet lacks two things: context and coherence. The context is Katy Perry’s ongoing feud with Taylor Swift, but you’ll be forgiven if you have no idea why she chose today to clap back.

2. Here’s some context:

3. After Nicki Minaj blasted MTV for their VMA nominations, Taylor Swift accused her of trying to “pit women against each other.”

4. Except, hold on, aren’t Taylor Swift and Katy Perry in the midst of a cold war? And didn’t Taylor release a music video about that drama?

5. Oh yes, she did.

6. A fact not lost on Katy Perry.

Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one unmeasurably capitalizes on the take down of a woman…

KATY PERRY (@katyperry)

7. A tweet like that SHOULD have had us going, “Yaasss, Katy! Drag her!”

I Fixed Katy Perry’s Tweet That No One Could Understand

8. Except, it kinda didn’t?

i didn’t understand this sentence for like 5 minutes https://t.co/vvZT31elZM

— ᏒᎪᏟhᎬᏞ sᎽmᎬ (@rachsyme)

9. Okay. Reading it again, and…this tweet is unintelligible.

Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one unmeasurably capitalizes on the take down of a woman…

KATY PERRY (@katyperry)

10. So let’s fix it.

11. 1. Let’s throw some quotation marks in there! You’re directly quoting from a wording and source material that is not your own. A lack of quotation marks will just confuse people.

1. Let's throw some quotation marks in there! You're directly quoting from a wording and source material that is not your own. A lack of quotation marks will just confuse people.

12. 2. Verb conjugation is key! Let’s make this sentence imperative and move the “about” after parade.

2. Verb conjugation is key! Let's make this sentence imperative and move the "about" after parade.

13. 3. While we’re at it, let’s fix the tense on “Finding.” This is a complete thought, not one you’ve yet to fully form. Treat it as such!

3. While we're at it, let's fix the tense on "Finding." This is a complete thought, not one you've yet to fully form. Treat it as such!

for that correct usage of “ironic” tho!

14. 4. I get it that you think ellipses are shady, but they really just make people think you have more to say. Cut that out.

4. I get it that you think ellipses are shady, but they really just make people think you have more to say. Cut that out.

15. 5. This one is subjective, but seeing as how the idea that “Bad Blood” actually succeeded in taking you down is also subjective, let’s get rid of “unmeasurably.”

5. This one is subjective, but seeing as how the idea that "Bad Blood" actually succeeded in taking you down is also subjective, let's get rid of "unmeasurably."

16. 6. Finally, make yourself the subject of the sentence, ma. That’s, like, Twitter 101. Always make it about YOU.

6. Finally, make yourself the subject of the sentence, ma. That's, like, Twitter 101. Always make it about YOU.

17. AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

18. Final thoughts: When delivering a read in the future, remember that the @ feature is free!

I Fixed Katy Perry’s Tweet That No One Could Understand

And Taylor Swift’s handle is @taylorswift13!

update

It’s spelled “takedown” as a noun, but I’ll assume Katy meant it as a verb and give points for effort.

Cortesía de: BuzzFeed