If You Already Know How Brussels Sprouts Grow, I Don’t Recommend Reading This Post

1. Thanks for coming. Please have a seat. I have a very serious question for you: Do you know how Brussels sprouts grow? You know Brussels sprouts. They’re ...
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1. Thanks for coming. Please have a seat. I have a very serious question for you: Do you know how Brussels sprouts grow?

Thanks for coming. Please have a seat. I have a very serious question for you: Do you know how Brussels sprouts grow?

You know Brussels sprouts. They’re the tiny cabbages that make you feel like a giant when you chomp into them.

2. If you do know how these lil ‘sprouts grow, this post isn’t for you. Please X out immediately.

If you do know how these lil 'sprouts grow, this post isn't for you. Please X out immediately.

I’m serious. This ain’t for you. Get.

3. OK, are they gone? Good. So…THIS is how brussels sprouts grow:

Hide

Like a parrot fucked a beanstalk (!!!).

4. They’re so…excessive?

They're so...excessive?

DO LESS, Brussels sprouts! You’re trying to be, like, four things at once!

5. I want to use one as a back massager.

I want to use one as a back massager.

And then eat it after.

6. Just a blatant disregard for vegetable dress code.

Just a blatant disregard for vegetable dress code.

And yet…I would chat them up in a bar???

7. Anyway, now you know! Have a Brussely day!

Anyway, now you know! Have a Brussely day!

9. What should I learn about next? Tell me in the comments!

Cortesía de: BuzzFeed